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Hartley Kane

New Fiction: You Can Fix Your Life

This is Not a Beach Book, Part II

My parents were angry at me because of You Can Fix Your Life.

       I found the book at the library. It was written by a woman named Karen Summerville. It’s about how your thoughts affect your life and you can make things happen if you think positively about it.

       My mom found it in my room and that’s when the argument began. She told dad and they called Fr. Schroederat St. John’s and made me go see him. He gave me this long talk about the occult, and the New Age, and how books like You Can Fix Your Life are portals to the demonic. “Your thoughts don’t create really, Kim,” he said. “God creates reality.”

Click here for Part 1 in this ongoing fiction series

New Fiction: This Is Not A Beach Book, Part 1

The Beginning of an Ongoing Serial


       We listened to the Eurythmics and got drunk. Chris snuck a bottle of Russian vodka out of his parents’ house, and we stopped at the on the way to the beach to mix it with some Orange Julius shakes. We poured half the Julius out and filled them up with vodka. Then we smoked a joint.

       We were flying high approaching the Bay Bridge when he told me that Heather Page lived in Ocean City in the summer.

       “Heather Paige, baby,” he said. “She can only have an orgasm with a Republican.”


       “The actress. she played Cosmic Girl in the 70s, on that Saturday morning show. She married a congressman who died a few years ago.”

       “I know. She was on Cosmic Girl.”

       “She’s in her 40s,” Chris said. Her husband worked for Reagan. She’s lonely, but she can only get there with a Republican.”