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New Dark Humor Fiction: Hitch-Hike Baby, Part Two

The Ugly

When last we visited, I had just gotten laid by way of a friendly, frisky, pre-AIDS era hitchhike hookup. It was the only time such a thing happened during my years thumbing rides, but not for lack of offers. Unfortunately, at least for a straight guy like me, all the other offers I got after getting picked up were from men.

Ryan Reynolds: CHIMICHANGAS!!

Deconstructing Canadian Culture, Part 30: So Much Time Getting Pummeled

Oh! Hello. I know, right? Like the blind squirrel who eventually finds the broken clock twice a day, Josh has finally stumbled onto someone interesting and relevant. And it only took him 29 completely useless Canadian culture blogposts to do it! Great job, Josh. Your certificate in pointless knowledge is in the mail, as are the medals for everyone who’s been bored to tears by this Canadian culture crapfest for the past seven months.

Mike Myers and Jim Carrey: The Grotesque In Canadian Comedy

Deconstructing Canadian Culture, Part 29: Cautionary Tales

Writing this one is going to be difficult, because Mike Myers and Jim Carrey were larger than life heroes to me growing up as a proud ’90s Kid.

New Humor: 3 Reasons Why I Think I Do Not Exist in the Way You Think I Do

Being unheard and unseen are only some of the services I provide. I have always been truly amazed at how some people actually don’t see or hear me. There have been many times in my life, starting at childhood, where I was convinced of my invisibility or non-existence. At school, when the teacher would ask a question, I would raise my hand with utter glee for the teacher to select me, but she wouldn’t see me. Out on the playground, the other children would look straight through me when picking teammates. I do realize that I must have fazed in and out, because if not, how could I have gotten anything done. Last year I attended my grade school class reunion. No one, not even the teachers remembered me; they had no idea who I was. I’m not sure if my invisibility was the reason or not, because I realized as I was leaving that it was the wrong class year, and that my class is having it this year. I don’t think I’ll go.

Leslie Nielsen: Accidentally Absurd

Deconstructing Canadian Culture, Part 24: The Funniest Thing in a Movie Where Jokes are Delivered Almost Every Minute

Surely, Leslie Nielsen was never supposed to be a serious actor? Well, I am serious – and don’t call me “Shirley.”

Nielsen – who has always been a sort of Canadian Adam West to me, utterly and earnestly oblivious to how ridiculous he comes off – is an important dividing line between the serious actors I’ve discussed in previous weeks who would often find themselves caught up in the campiest of schlockfests, and the Canadian actors who began as clowns and later craved respect, such as Mike Myers and Jim Carrey.

Plummer and Sutherland brought gravitas to ridiculous roles, and, as we’ll see, Carrey and Myers tried to inject some levity into serious drama. Nielsen is different because – at least initially – he wasn’t going for over the top humour or deadpan seriousness. There’s a Chaplinesque passivity and calm on display as he boldly soldiers through silliness like the Star Trek forerunner Forbidden Planet.

The New Devil’s Dictionary: A Quick Look at the Lexicon of the Left

Beginning in 1881, and extending up through 1906, the American newspaper writer and noted cynic Ambrose Bierce compiled what he called “The Devil’s Dictionary”. It contained wry and sometimes humorous, but always cynical, definitions of words and phrases. The copyright has long since expired, and the entire slim volume can be found at no cost on a number of internet sites.

Bierce suggested his definitions were what people really meant in practice, as opposed to the formal dictionary definitions of the same terms.

One of my favorites is his definition of “bigot.” He wrote that it means “[o]ne who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion you do not entertain.”

Although Bierce wrote this definition well over 100 years ago, the mentality that inspired his biting definition is very much with us. This column will offer some examples of how our political left really defines some terms commonly in use, even though the copy of “Webster’s” on your desk won’t include them.

New Humor Fiction: Hitch-Hike Baby

Part 4 In the Odyssey of Carlos Stranger…

I did a lot of hitch-hiking around Shreveport before I got my learner’s permit and was able to drive my parent’s 1962 Buick Invicta station wagon. As a consequence, I’m probably lucky to be alive. Based on my experience, I can’t recommend thumbing rides; doing so was an absolute never-ever for my own children. While hitchhiking was something we did back in the day, due to the inherent dangers it has fallen out of favor. Does anyone hitchhike anymore?

The Reitman Family’s Blissful Ignorance

Deconstructing Canadian Culture, Part 20: Space to Laugh an Easy Laugh

Meatballs. Space Jam. Kindergarten Cop. Animal House. And above all, Ghostbusters.

These are just a few of the easy, breezy, morally loose and lighthearted comedy classics either directed by or produced by Canadian film legend Ivan Reitman. I don’t have to introduce or analyze them, because you know them all. You can quote lines from them. These films were memeworthy before memes were a thing.

Everything about the guy just screams likeability. Reitman was happy to lend some of his middle-to-low-brow cred to more artistically-minded Canadians – he produced Atom Egoyan’s Chloe, and helped David Cronenberg with a couple of his early projects in the ’70s. Kids can – and probably should, these days – watch his films and delight in them. Actors like Bill Murray, Danny DeVito and Sigourney Weaver loved working with him, and years later he helped give birth to the “Frat Pack” comedy explosion with 2003’s Old School. Even SJWs have to build around or subvert the structures he creates rather than trying to tear them down – that’s how you got “Lady Ghostbusters.”

New Humor Fiction: Driving Toward Gomorrah

Part 3 In an Ongoing Series on Sex and Love In Life’s Autumn Years

For obvious reasons, I’m opting not to include a photo with my submissions to Liberty Island. But I can truthfully assert that from the standpoint of appearances, I’m a very handsome man. I’m 6’2, with chestnut brown hair, a great physique, and intense hazel-gray eyes that have melted the hearts of many women in my day. Why disclose this? Because I’m about to delve into a topic that very handsome men seldom need to address: the need to pay for sex.

Room for Adjustment

A Personal Narrative

Did I mention that I’m a grandfather? Yes, I’m that older guy who fumbles with his iPhone and produces a photo of his offspring’s offspring in about three minutes. It’s great, but recent events involving my extended family illustrate how being an agreeable and somewhat smitten grandparent can send you down the proverbial primrose path and run you ragged.

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