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From My Cold, Dead, Facts

Or Why I’m Joining the NRA

As a veteran who once held a security clearance (along with marksmen and expert ribbons in certain firearms), a tax-payer for over 40 years, and a guy who’s only seen the inside of a jail cell while doing research, I find Dandy David Hogg unqualified to lecture me on responsible gun-ownership…

Imagining a Good Message Movie

Hint: First, make a good film

This year’s Oscar-winning The Shape of Water applied this “building a story using only good-think legos” method and managed to squeeze a lot of them into one drippy film. Trouser Trout and the Hot Mute Chick­ –– working title –– was able to hit the trifecta of (allegedly) timeless tropes: saintly black woman is heroic, bad guy is a Bible-quoting sexual abuser who loves torture, and the saintly gay character is the quiet moral guide and center of the film. But wait, there’s more! Bonus points for the communist spy character who turns out to have a heart of gold.

Goliath on the March

Who’s the Real David? David Hogg Vs. Kyle Kashuv

MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” has the unique ability to get any story, fact, or analogy ass backwards on a regular basis. The day before the March for Our Lives rally, a liberal guest, amidst a sea of liberal Joesters, gloated that the Parkland students couldn’t really be criticized, since, after all, they’re the Parkland students. The reporter then likened the teen movement against the NRA to David and Goliath.

Goliath was a braggart who challenged the Israelites to fight only him in order to win all or lose all. Today’s Goliath is David Hogg, Parkland survivor and braggart, hardly the boy shepherd whose story of bravery is actually echoed by the National Rifle Association.