The Bachelor Bears
By Dennis Maley
Three bachelor bears lived communally in a cabin deep in a national park. One bear was undersized, another was a middle-sized bear, and the last had been overserved. The large bear was almost too big for the front door of the cabin. The bears had friendly relations with their neighbors, who regarded them as good-natured, […]
Goldilocks and the Three Bears Coffee Co.
By Jack Morgan
Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Progressistan, there lived a girl named Goldilocks, who was considered beautiful by the outdated standards of the white-supremacist, heteronormative patriarchy. Goldilocks lived in government subsidized housing on the edge of an enchanted forest and she would venture out into it to commune with the Earth Goddess daily. […]
Johnny and Margie Meet Auntie Sam
By John L. Scot
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive." — C. S. Lewis Once upon a time, a cabinetmaker named Peter Wright lived in a modest house by the edge of a forest, with his wife, Vanna Tristesse, and his two children by his first marriage. […]
The Obedient Courage and Open-Mindedness of Healthy Herbie
By Erich Forschler
Healthy Herbie and his neighbor, Selfish Face, played together in the backyard sandbox at Selfish Face’s house. "I’m gonna make a castle and then the knights are gonna have a war!" Selfish Face exclaimed. His eyes shimmered with racist hatred as he filled a small plastic bucket with sand. "No!" Healthy Herbie replied. He held […]
The Emperor’s New Accomplishments
By Frank Fleming
Long ago in a faraway land lived an emperor named Obama. He was the greatest emperor the people had ever known; everyone knew he was the smartest and the most capable emperor that had ever existed. The only problem was that he had no accomplishments to show for his greatness. This usually didn’t bother people–they […]
Welcome to the Club!
By Colin Blake
Anna and Will ran inside holding a doll and a ball respectively, not realizing what a fury that was going to cause among the literati. "I’m hungry," shouted Will. "So am I," said Anna. "I have a special game to play for lunch today, children. We will find foods with a chart a federal bureaucracy […]
The Helpful iPlate of Doom
By Marina Fontaine
"Can we try it, Mama, please, pretty please? All the kids at school are using it!" "OK." Mama Bear took her famous stew off the stove and reached for the box on top of the cupboard. The new iPlate sure looked pretty–a shiny multi-colored platter with miniature light bulbs around the edge. Best of all, […]
Deadline 70 AD
By Jim Lion
CHAPTER ONE An odd warning _________ Two weeks before he left this world, John Salmon had a bit of nervous stage fright. This lasted until a wave of adrenaline washed over it, turned fear into fun, and made the day more memorable in a good way. Next to him sat Eric, his rail-thin roommate. "You’re […]
