Last night I wasted ninety minutes reading Women’s Health Magazine articles from 2014. I didn’t intend on clicking around for that long. I was just waiting for the posts to get better and they never did. However, I did come away from the exercise with three infinitely wise facts about men that were just as useless in 2014 as they would have been twenty years ago in 1994, when I was single.

I would have had a much longer list except for the fact that most of the advice offered by Women’s Health is not rated PG. It has little to do with being strong and healthy and lots to do with keeping a man, what to wear to make you appear fitter, and what gym bags are most likely to get looks from hot guys while at the gym.
Few of the articles had anything relevant to offer confident females, athletes (or former athletes in my case), or women who have procreated. An utter disappointment compared to Men’s Health Magazine that I enjoy reading with advice that I can actually use. Women’s Health is a magazine for women, by women, full of scantily clad women, claiming to help women. And it falls short.

In 1994, I was a junior at University of Maryland, College Park. I worked two jobs including one at a maternity shop (Did you know that bra cups go up to size J? I didn’t…after that job I was happy with my lot for the first time since age fourteen). My other employer was Shoe Town. Nothing like trying to get the funk out of carpet after barefoot customers have been combing the isles for nine hours.
But socially, 1994 was a good year. I was finally able to experience nearby D.C, and Annapolis. My two roommates were constantly trying to set me up because attached females think it’s their job to find that magic someone for their single buddies. So, I went out a lot. Met lots of fun and not so fun fellas. Guys with great hair and guys with no hair (I always thought shaved heads looked kinda tough). Guys with red Carreras and guys with bicycles.
I read a lot of magazines and self-help type stuff because I had yet to outgrow my own insecurities. I later found that through setting goals for myself and achieving them, my self-doubt vaporized. That self-actualization had nothing to do with men and everything to do with my own contentedness and accomplishments.
You would think after twenty years that magazines geared towards single women would have evolved somewhat. Not so. The advancement of women is just as it was, using sex appeal to get what you want. Forget using your brain. And be sure to complain when your intended sex appeal attracts the wrong target.
Below are just a few bits of information that Women’s Health had to offer in 2014. Nothing to do with women’s health and more to do with finding and keeping a man. Information that is just as irrelevant now as it would have been in 1994:
#1 Men taller than 5’10" are twice as likely to cheat. Women’s Health insists this is a fact and that thefactis based on research, however that study and other findings were not disclosed.
#2Men who like Rock music stray more than men who like Rap. What? Not possible.
#3Men named Wayne are the least trustworthy. I find this very funny. Mostly because never in my life andtravels have I ever met a man named Wayne. Where are all these supposed sly Waynes hiding?
None of these points have anything to do with women’s health…That is, unless being a healthy woman in 2104 was all about finding and keeping a man. I think I’ll just stick to reading Men’s Health. At least they feature articles about eating steak, staying happy, and truly getting fit through hard work. That seems a lot more healthy to me.
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