Being unheard and unseen are only some of the services I provide. I have always been truly amazed at how some people actually don’t see or hear me.
1. I am unheard and unseen.
There have been many times in my life, starting at childhood, where I was convinced of my invisibility or non-existence. At school, when the teacher would ask a question, I would raise my hand with utter glee for the teacher to select me, but she wouldn’t see me. Out on the playground, the other children would look straight through me when picking teammates. I do realize that I must have fazed in and out, because if not, how could I have gotten anything done. Last year I attended my grade school class reunion. No one, not even the teachers remembered me; they had no idea who I was. I’m not sure if my invisibility was the reason or not, because I realized as I was leaving that it was the wrong class year, and that my class is having it this year. I don’t think I’ll go.
Being the middle child of seven (three sisters and three brothers), can be difficult I guess, but even more so when they don’t know you are there. For instance, whenever I was using the washroom to shower, brush my teeth, or you know, the other stuff you do in the bathroom, it must have always appeared to the rest of my family that it was unoccupied at that moment when I was using it. Not to mention that there is a large family portrait on the wall above the fireplace, and I’m not visible in it.
Still, I am unable to get a date or even a drink at a crowded bar. Forever alone. Maybe I’ll just get a cat, no one is invisible to a cat.
2. I am driven by the majority to select an identity that I would like to believe is unique.
Have you ever wondered who tells us what to wear and how to wear it? Clothing manufacturers don’t make what we want to buy, they make what they want us to buy. Don’t you think its weird that these giant clothing manufacturers just happen to make the outfits that are going to be the next big fashion, well before you’re told what the next big fashion is?
“To show everyone how much I stand out from the crowd, I have to be the first to wear the newest fashion before everyone else jumps on board.” A quote from some girl I met.
Isn’t it great that we have the majority to tell us what we think so we don’t have to. Right, Left, Center, Pro or Con; we follow while claiming our individualism.
3. I feel more real in my dreams.
Deep in a dark cave, Sugar Bear is tied up, suspended and swinging like a pendulum above a large bowl of something white and bubbling. Off to the side, on a platform, stood and Franken Berry. As they watched Sugar Bear dangle, I did the worst thing you can do in that situation; I yelled at them to let him go. To my surprise they were not alone, someone or something grabbed me from behind. Before I could get free, Franken Berry is standing next to me holding my arm, beginning to twist it behind my back. He was so strong that I couldn’t break loose, I could feel my arm being pressed against my back and then I started to scream from the pain.
My father awoke to my screams from down the hall of our apartment. Rushed to my bedside and moved my right arm from the middle of my back where it got stuck and fell asleep. I tried to explain that Sugar Bear was in terrible danger, but he just told me to go back to sleep and he left the room.
This peculiar little dream was almost fifty years ago and I still remember it clearly. The ever popular, misunderstood parallel universe we like to call our dreamscape has haunted mankind from the moment of it’s very inception.
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