“I Want Crabs for Christmas” by David Deboy is certifiably the best worst Christmas song that’s ever come out of the great Old Line State.
It was first released in 1981, but for some unknown reason, this Maryland native did not hear the awful (but playfully distastefully and catchy) Baltimore holiday staple til this morning.
The worst part? Now that I’ve metabolized it, it’s gotten less irritating and more endearing each time I hear the lyrics, particularly when enthusiastically belted out by our little guy, T-Rex.
The Verdict:
“I Want Crabs for Christmas” by David Deboy is eggnog spiked with Natty Boh, dusted with Old Bay, scooped up in an Utz potato chip. Trust me, Hon.
Here’s a link to the whole song/video (if you can take it–it’s truly terrible):
About the Author
Audie Cockings
Audie Cockings is a storyteller of things familiar to her. Her debut novel, Little Red Rider, published through Amazon, rendered a humble following, particularly military wives and widows who intimately know sorrowful grief and tiresome fortitude. She has two novels set to go in 2019 entitled, The Mole and, A Girl, A Dog, A Boat. Audie's work has been published at Liberty Island Magazine and PJ Media. Little Red Rider can be found online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Greetings and Readings Independent Booksellers, and in The Baltimore County Public Library, Towson, MD.
Audie is a proud mama of four and devoted (read: smitten but often exasperated) wife of a ring-knocker and former Army Ranger. When she is not writing fiction, she is elbow-deep in other creative endeavors, or at her "real job", crisis intervention for at-risk seniors and disabled adults. She attended University of Maryland, College Park, as an undergrad and holds a Master's degree in Adulthood and Aging from a historic Roman Catholic women's college (where she nearly flunked philosophy for believing in God). Audie hopes that someday liberal Protestants, pro-choice Catholics, and atheist Jews will get married in the Universal Unitarian Church then go on an extended honeymoon someplace far away that does not offend them.
Audie is the worst ice skater that ever dated someone from Michigan. But she's a stellar cook so he asked her anyhow.
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