isn’t a priority for them: it’s a day out of the
office. But you are definitely in
the office when you train, so dress the part.
Men and women should wear well-tailored suits, polished shoes, and a
ready smile. I consider this a major take-away
of this session.

(PROJECTION: “Dressing Well = Knowing Everything”)

What you’re saying by dressing well is “I’m definitely
NOT Mr. Green Jeans. I’m an educated
professional who, by virtue of my impeccable attire, knows everything. And I’m paid very well to know
everything. And you should walk and
gesture as if you know everything, too.
Let’s face it, when you know everything you’ve got a right to flaunt it,
don’t you? Flaunt it in your manner;
walk with a swagger–but not too much of a swagger. Try something between Mother Teresa and Mick

(He demonstrates)

You’re cool; you’re confident; you know it all, they
don’t. You’ve been rewarded for it. Put one hand in your suit pocket. Always face
front. Make a big deal out of seeing
things nobody else can see. Lemme give
you an example. I always tell the story
about the time I worked as the training manager for a fast food company. We wanted to teach our new cooks how to make
hamburgers. On my first day the company
wanted ME to make hamburgers, too, so I get a feel for what the chefs making
$6.50 an hour are going through. So I
walked into the test kitchen and I was handed a card of instructions that told
me exactly what to put on each type of hamburger and in what order. And I said, “This isn’t training. This is a card with instructions. I mean like how passive is that? Training is interactive, right? No one’s gonna be able to learn anything from
this card.” What killed me was the fact
that no one else could see this. They’re
all busy making hamburger after hamburger, slavishly following the card,
successfully churning the hamburgers out one by one, and no one could see that
they weren’t being trained. I was in
shock and I said there and then–right in front of everybody and the one
hamburger I was able to make successfully because it had no toppings–that I was
going to revolutionize this training program and bring it into the 21st
Century! So I ran back to my office and
started work on a web-based, interactive training program called “Making
Hamburgers the Blankety-Blank Way.” I
can’t mention the company’s name while the case is still pending trial. But anyway, this program had simulated meat
and simulated lettuce and simulated sauce and a timer function and you dragged
the meat and the toppings and the bun to a fake animated grill and made
hamburgers. No hot kitchen, no spills
and stains, no plates and hot oil from the fries. This was quality interactive training! It doesn’t have to look anything like real
life: it’s glitzy and polished and smooth, just like you. Who says you can’t shine shit?

(PROJECTION: “Making Your Training Stick”)

Chances are really good that whatever it is you
preach–stuff they’re feverishly writing down and sometimes highlighting in
bright pink–will be forgotten approximately 48 hours after your
presentation. Part of the reason is that
participants never really get the chance to apply what they’ve learned. Another big reason is that they have no
intention of applying what they’ve learned because they think they already know
everything anyway. That can’t possibly
work because YOU know everything. You
can’t all know everything or training would become extinct and you might have
to actually work for a living. I’ll just
say this: whenever you hold a

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