Behold, America as seen through a Honda Civic ad:

It begins with flashed images of an anchorman broadcasting bad news, a trash heap, and a bankruptcy court, all to the sung words, "Today is pretty sad." It then backs away from the truth with a pretty girl saying that "there are great things too." By its tenth second, we’re full-auto rainbows and unicorns as zany SWPL’s tell the viewer how "today is actually pretty great!"

What makes today great? "Giving back," says a girl with a clipboard looking vaguely eco-conscious. "Being accepted for who you are," says a cosplay chick while walking to ComicCon. "What about chemistry?" says some Pajama Boy with a middlingly attractive blonde who in the real world would have friendzoned him at "hi".

Give them credit for putting yards of lipstick on the swine that passes for the American economy. Sure there’s ruin all around you. But today is still pretty awesome!!1! Unemployed as you Millenials are, you’ve lots of time to give back to the society that has pissed away your future. Maybe you can volunteer for OFA and register suckers for Obamacare. That’ll fill your days.

And hey, you can be accepted for who you are. Too bad who you are hasn’t any prospect of making more than your parents. But at least you can wear costumes or onesies. Embrace your inner infant. Jobs and futures are adult stuff, and you’ve got neither.

We’re half-a-decade into a supposed recovery, and this is what passes for the good life now? This is the best we can expect? This is what makes life pretty great?

Are you kidding me? This isn’t the American Dream. It’s not even a consolation prize.

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