In our last installment we covered how erectile dysfunction medications can give male oldsters of any age a new lease on life in the bedroom. But there’s more than reinvigorated sexuality to reckon with for previously single senior men who are for whatever reason embarking upon an intimate romantic relationship.

Following are a few random pointers, various and sundry data to guide the graying male demographic as they seek to navigate this reprised foray in to what was in their day known as “the battle of the sexes.” Note: nobody won.

First off, don’t be alarmed when your annual physical blood test reveals that your prostate specific antigen (PSA) level comes back significantly elevated. If you’re having sex again after a long hiatus, you probably don’t have prostate cancer. Your gland has awakened from a deep slumber. It has been reenlisted into service in a manner to which it has become unaccustomed. Expressed in the voice of an “I Am Joe’s Prostate”–type article, it would go something like:

“What the hell is going on here? Instead of the usual quiet Saturday night masturbatory ritual, you’re all of a sudden plowing away like a draft horse.  In addition to getting up to pee three times a night, you’re having sex three times a week.

“Look, I’m happy for you, and the exercise is probably beneficial, but don’t be surprised if while your busy releasing your sexagenarian (or septuagenarian) semen, I’m releasing my own activity indicators into your circulatory system.”

In a similar vein (sorry), though caution about sexually transmitted diseases is still warranted, if your newfound partner is post-menopausal you have no worries about bringing another human being into this world. Knowing pregnancy is physiologically off the table can work psychologically with your medication. Happily, as long as the STD issue is moot, the prophylactic you once carried in your wallet and the cycle-altering pill she took each day have become unlamented relics.

To borrow a phrase from the insurance industry, you’re “grandfathered in.”

After getting your Sildenafil-renewed sex life on track, the prospect of an actual ongoing November/November relationship may present itself. If it does, you’ll need to get a handle on the economics. At this stage of life, neither you nor she can’t afford any irrevocable financial miscalculations. There’s no time left for a “five-year plan” or even a “one-year plan.” It’s going to be more like a monthly plan.

That’s why legendary comedian George Burns appropriated a line originally written by Erma Bombeck in one of her columns: “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”

Women at the precipice of senior citizenship will carefully consider your financial liabilities and/or strengths. If you’re dancing on the edge of insolvency at this late date, the prospects for recovery are limited. As the reality of your situation becomes clear, you may find yourself within a few sweet nothings of getting unceremoniously dumped.

Conversely, if you’ve got money and she doesn’t, that harkens back to the halcyon days when men were the primary if not sole breadwinners. It could work—unless you decide to take your financial security and Cialis and find some youthful arm candy. It happens all the time.

If both male and female partners in this autumnal relationship are on fixed incomes, forget friends with benefits. It’s about friends with entitlements.

Finally, although you may be experiencing a vim, vigor, and virility reminiscent of early manhood, you’ll need to be on guard against old school endearments like “my old lady.”

In younger days, boomer guys would affectionately use the phrase, as in, “I’ll have to ask my old lady.” The women didn’t mind because they were all in their twenties or thirties, and understood that the expression was positively linked to the male obsession with maternalism—the mother.

It may go without saying, but once involved in an intimate relationship after age 50, you’ll want to avoid characterizations like “old lady,” “old gal,” or “old Monica.” Unless you’re rich or gregarious enough to have captured the heart (or inspired the machinations) of a nubile maiden (young chick), terms like those are going to be way too “on-the-nose.”

Till next time, an original George Burns quote to get you through the night:

“When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick.”