Let me first make this very clear: I love fandom. When you're Odd, going to a con is a relief. Finally, you can use the word "grok" in a sentence without people giving you the side-eye. Finally, you can wear a Bajoran earring without people questioning your fashion sense. In the ordinary work-a-day world, I don't have many folks with whom I can gab about this year's Hugo nominations (which I will be discussing next week before the ballot deadline); at a con, however, I can hang with My People and feel secure that my passion for, say, Babylon 5 or Larry Niven won't be seen as peculiar.

But fandom can be ugly -- and before people start accusing me of "body shaming," I'm not talking about aesthetics. I'm talking about certain prevailing attitudes that detract from my enjoyment of fandom, either because they personally make me feel disrespected and unwelcome or because they just make me feel skeevy even though I'm not actually the target.