Nov 3. Went drinking with the boys after work. Plenty of bars to choose from in Washington DC. Sometimes you can see one of the superstars like Henry Waxman or Joe Biden or Charles Schumer. They are real men! Makes me tingle all over to think I have the same employer as they do. The government. Bingley disagrees with me on that. Says our employer is the people. Huh. What does he know. He drinks Coors. I drink martinis with little umbrellas in them. Saw one of the Kennedys in the bar this evening. Wow! Not sure which one. He left with a tall, leggy blonde. Someone shouted "get a life preserver!" Must’ve been drunk. Reminds me. I need a girlfriend.
Nov 9. Job at the National Park Services is getting a bit routine. I enjoy clubbing tourists when they get too close to the Lincoln Memorial or to the Senate Building, but the bloom is off the rose. Yesterday, Harry Reid came down the Senate steps and thanked us for our hard work. At least, I think that’s what he said. Words were kind of muffled due to the handkerchief he had covering his nose. Apparently he has sensitive olfactory nerves. I tried not to breathe in his direction as I had Italian for lunch. I still need a girlfriend.
Nov 22. Met girl of my dreams! Jill Schnabel. Bingley introduced me to her at a party. Apparently she was his blind date but they were not exactly meshing. Then he cackled like a crazy man and ran away. Jill works at the Department of Education. Policy writer. Went to Vassar and majored in post-industrial re-genderism. Jill is also a vegan wiccan and rescues pure-bred Tibetan mastiffs in her spare time! Very well-rounded! I’m in love. We’re going to a sit-in at Georgetown next Saturday to protest their football team. Jill says football is a reactionary and antiquated leftover of our violent imperialist past. Refreshing to meet someone willing to make a stand. She says she’s bringing pepper spray and will beat the crap out of any counter-protestors.
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