In the wake of the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby decision, suddenly everyone is a constitutional scholar. Wander into the wrong neighborhoods online and you’ll be overwhelmed by sophisticated reasoning that, somehow, always comes to the same conclusion: Conservatives don’t have the same rights as leftists.

A business owner’s right to religious freedom is as nothing when compared to women’s desire to get their abortion pills on the house.

Up next, people on the left are trying to throw the Little Sisters of the Poor under the bus to appease their sisters in the feminist movement.

No problem showing Fahrenheit 911 or any of Michael Moore’s propaganda films, which are produced by his corporation, Dog Eat Dog Films. Yet Hillary: The Movie was blocked because Citizens United is a corporation, and everybody knows corporations aren’t people and don’t have First Amendment rights.

Koch Industries is an evil corporation and the Koch brothers should be muzzled to prevent them from "rigging the game." But there’s no issue with hedge-fund hypocrite Tom Steyer or the arch-speculator himself, George Soros, pouring their millions into politics.

Earlier this week, the always-formidable Tom Maguire fought off an attempted assault on the Declaration of Independence. It seems a scholar claims to have detected an errant period after the words "pursuit of happiness." Remove the period and, she predictably concludes, "The logic of the sentence moves from the value of individual rights to the importance of government."

Tom rightly dismisses this with a seen-it-all-before, "Oh, brother." But today is Independence Day and I’m in the mood to pile it on a bit thicker.

First, try pasting the text of the Declaration into Microsoft Word. Make sure the spelling and grammar checkers are turned on and then answer this question: Who you gonna trust–Thomas Jefferson or Bill Gates?

Second, the ink on the signed copy of the Declaration began noticeably fading more than 200 years ago. The last time I visited Independence Hall, the tour guide explained that the famous signatures are no longer visible on the original copy. Despite repeated attempts to restore the document, the signatures have disappeared.

In 2001, conservators at the National Archives encased our founding documents in sealed frames made of titanium and aluminum that are filled with inert argon gas. It’s hard to understand how the "out-damn-spot" crowd was suddenly able to detect this "bloody period"–if you’ll forgive me mixing Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet.

And it’s even more suspicious that this new discovery suggests that the Founders were fans of big government. It doesn’t pass the smell test. Neither did the revisionist attempt to say the right to bear arms applies only to state militias.

What’s next? Maybe they’ll try to tell us that the Declaration is invalid because it was never signed.

The Bill of Rights was created to remove any possible ambiguity that Americans’ rights are natural and inalienable. Let’s get rid of all the sophistry about who can say what based on their tax status as an individual, a corporation, or a non-profit. Free speech is our most important right and it cannot be restricted.

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