Snowday. Fourth one, not counting four additional days when school started at 11 a.m. due to icy road conditions.
After yet another day stuck in the house with four kids who can’t seem to stop fighting, I decided to lock myself in the bathroom for a moment and Google anything that might make me laugh. I was desperate.
Problem was that I couldn’t find anything even somewhat funny because my search was too broad. Then for some reason only God knows, a pre-boarding conversation in Tel Aviv with a Rabbi came to mind.
My brother, father, and I had planned a trip to Israel as a birthday present for my mother. She was turning 60 and we wanted to do something significant, having done the D-Day tour for my dad’s 60th three year prior.
That Holy Land trip had an entire book’s worth of entertaining exchanges, usually over the most delicious food. Israeli salad and hummus somehow managing to stay interesting despite the fact that I’d heartily indulged in both at each meal (even breakfast) since arriving. I also ate a half a kilo of fresh dates the first morning, later regretting it. I haven’t had a date since.
We drove from one end of the country to the other, only taking a bus to Masada and the Dead Sea. After seeing the Old City in its entirety, Nazareth and smaller towns dotting Upper and Lower Galilee, eating a glut of "St. Peter’s Fish", then finally dipping our toes in the Jordan River, we were headed back to JFK.
It was indeed unfortunate that we couldn’t stay longer because never have I felt safer or experienced such warm, boisterous people…
So, about the Rabbi…My dad asked him if he likes Tel Aviv better than New York City.
"No. New York is superior to Tel Aviv" he replied, straight faced.
"Why is that?" my dad asked, curiously.
"Because New York has Starbucks." The Rabbi flashed a wide grin then verbally listed all of the Starbucks within walking distance of his NYC apartment. He teased that he loves Israel, but that he loves NYC more for no other reason than coffee, himself being an willing, enthusiastic addict.
That was dad’s first experience with a rabbi. It went over very well because the rabbi possessed such inherent playfulness. He could have been serious and sputtered off something political but chose to respond with humor. Something, from my experience, Hebrews excel at. Christian leaders…not so much.
So I Googled "Funny Christian Churches" to see if that we might possibly ever spar with a Rabbi. Google in turn provided church signs that had warranted attention. There were quite a few that prompted a good laugh and saved me from my own bad mood…self-effacing signs, instructive signs, judgmental signs and even naughty signs (at a Catholic Church!). I left out the seriously naughty ones….if you’re curious then now you know where to find them.
Anyhow, I needed a good chuckle and I got one. Here are a few of my favorites…
There were several signs regarding a stolen AC unit. Pretty low, although, don’t you get bonus points for working up a sweat at some churches?
But will Cleveland ever truly forgive him?
Neither will, "There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…"
I certainly hope so…I love a good face pet…
In Tennessee, football fanaticism is an act of worship.
Nothing like a tasty Reformed Pastor for dinner.
Lock your car.
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